


Just By Chance (Phan AU)

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6989047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is that kid. The popular boy that every girl swoons over, that everyone wants to be friends with, the boy that's a complete jerk to anyone lower on the totem pole. But deep down, he's just trying to hide and ignore his own secret- that he's gay.</p>
<p>Phil is Dan's usual target. Openly gay, awkward, and nerdy, he seems to be easily bullied. He's always too afraid to say anything and would rather stay in the background and get through high school and go to university. </p>
<p>When Dan's grades slip and he needs to bring them up or else repeat his senior year, Phil is assigned to tutor Dan. It seems to be a terrible coincidence that the two are brought together, but it's so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue- Dan's POV

I sat in the headmaster's office, arms crossed, completely pissed off. "Now, Mrs. Howell," I heard my headmaster saying to my mother, who was sitting next to me, "If Daniel doesn't raise his grades by the end of March, he will not graduate with his class. His highest grade at the moment is a D-. He actually has a 20% in one class." My mother shook her head, disappointed.

"Along with the academic struggles Daniel is experiencing, he has had several behavioral problems," The headmaster continued. "Talking back to teachers, bullying other students, fights, and completely unnecessary acts of PDA in the school hallways. He has had 18 suspensions this year alone, both in school and out of school. And it's only December. That would be a new record for this school."

I smirked. Hey, I have to be remembered somehow. "Mr. Howell, that is not something you should be proud of." My mother sighed. "Yes, we have experienced problems like that at home. Is there anything you can do to help with his grades? A tutor? After school classes?"

The headmaster nodded. "Actually, we have a program here at the school to help students in Daniel's position. We assign them a tutor, which is what we have done for Daniel." He pulled out a piece of paper. "Mr. Howell, you will be attending after school tutoring every day of the school week for two hours a day. We also encourage you and your tutor to spend time studying outside of the required amount of time. It looks like your assigned tutor is Philip Lester." 

I sat upright. "NO. Not that loser! You can't pair me up with him!" "Daniel!" my mother said, disapprovingly. 

I shook my head. No. This cannot be happening right now. The world has conspired against me.


	2. Phil's POV

~One week earlier~

"Get out of my way, gay boy." I was shoved into my locker by Dan. Again. I fought back the tears- I always teared up, even though it was a daily occurrence. Keep your head down, Phil, I said to myself. Don't give them the reaction they want. 

"Hey, faggot, do you have the homework for Pre-Calc?" Dan asked. I just ignored him and opened my locker. Before I could reach for my books, Dan slammed it shut. "Hey, I'm talking to you. Do you have the homework?"

"No, I didn't do it." I said quietly, with my head down. Which was a lie, of course. I always do my homework. Dan grunted. "I want the answers by the time class starts. Got it?"I nodded. Dan's girlfriend, who was hanging on his arm, laughed with Dan as they walked away. I grabbed my books and ran to the bathroom, which is where I spent my lunch period. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I got out my homework answers and started copying them down on a separate piece of paper. 

When I was finished, I leaned my head against the wall in the back of the bathroom stall. I rolled up my sleeves, looking at my cut up arms, and I cried even more. I just didn't understand why Dan and his friends bullied me the way they did. I never did anything to them. Maybe it was because I was gay. Maybe it was because of my clothes- the video game and anime t-shirts. I just didn't know. 

The bell rang and I got up and walked to pre-calc, passing by Dan on the way there. I handed him the answers. "Here. Last night's homework." I whispered. Dan nodded. "See, I knew you'd come through. Always do, Lester." I silently nodded and sat down in my seat. After we handed in out homework, the room's intercom buzzed on. 

"Mr. Holden?" The lady on the intercom asked. "Yes?" "I need you to send Philip Lester to the headmaster's office, please." Mr. Holden looked at me. "Got that?" I nodded and grabbed my stuff to leave.

When I arrived, I knocked on the door. Through the little window in the door, I saw out headmaster wave me inside. "Hello, Philip, please take a seat. Don't worry," he said when he saw my nervous face. "You're not in trouble." I sat down in a chair in front of his desk.

"Well, Philip, I've been looking at your grades. You're a very good student. You know that, right?" I nodded. "Yes, sir. I'm content with my grades." "Good," he continued. "You see, I need you to tutor a student who is struggling with his grades. You will be tutoring him everyday after school for two hours, starting next week until the end of March. Can you do that?"

"Um, yes sir, I believe so. I don't work or have other obligations. May I ask who I will be tutoring?"

The headmaster nodded. "Yes, you will be tutoring Daniel Howell."

My stomach dropped. "Um, sir? I- well, not to be rude, but you do know that I have sent in many bullying reports regarding Dan? I don't think that paring us would be a good idea."

The headmaster smiled. "That's exactly why I paired you two. I figured if Daniel spent time with you, then maybe he would get to know you and stop bullying you."

I sighed. Did he seriously think that would work? If anything, Dan would bully me more. Adults were so ignorant sometimes. I couldn't just say no, though. "Um, okay. You said we start next week?"

"Yes. Thank you Philip. You may go back to class."

I got up to leave, but I did not return to class. I walked home, sobbing the entire way. There was no freaking way I was actually expected to spend time with Dan one-on-one for four months. I wasn't going to make it. I got home and fell on my bed, sobbing even more.

When my mum got home she came upstairs, knocking lightly on my door. "Phil? Phil, honey, are you okay?" she walked in and sat by my on my bed, holding me in her arms like I was a little kid again. "What happened, Philly? I hate seeing you so upset."

I sniffled. "I have to tutor Dan, starting next week. Five days a week. For four months. Mum, I hate that kid. He' so mean."

My hugged me. "Is that the same kid who bullys you so much?" I nodded. "Do they know? Why wuld they pair you two up?"

"They think it will help with the bullying. It's okay. I'll get through it. I'm going to go to sleep. I'm exhausted."

My mum kissed the top of my head. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything." she then got up and closed the door. I fell asleep, and when I woke up the next morning, I realized I hadn't even taken off my shoes.


	3. Dan's POV

I got off the bus and walked into an empty house. I threw down my backpack and for one second considered actually doing homework, but then that second ended and I walked to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed out one of my mum's beers and downed it. I was feeling disgusted with myself and all I wanted to do was forget and drown out the part of my conscience that was nagging at me.

I grabbed another beer and sat on our sofa, turning on the television. Why do I hurt people like I do? I asked myself. I hate myself for that. I just didn't know what else to do to keep from being the loser that was bullied. my phone buzzed and I picked it up to see that I had a text from my girlfriend, Elana. You busy tonight, Dan? I have the house to myself ;) I sighed and texted back. Sorry, babe. I'm actually going to study tonight. Love you, maybe another time. Lies.

I moaned and threw my phone on the sofa somewhere, not wanting to deal with Elana bitching about me being too busy for her. Truth is, I didn't even like her. Or my last girlfriend, or the one before that. Or any girl for that matter. But I had to continue to date girls so my secret wouldn't slip- I'm gay. If anyone knew, or even suspected, my social status would slip and I would be back at the bottom of the totem pole like I was in middle school. 

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I heard my mum screaming in my face. "DANIEL JAMES HOWELL. HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING? YOU ARE UNDERAGE. THAT IS ILLEGAL. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" I looked at my mum and shrugged. "Long day at school."

"I don't care how long of a day you had, Daniel!" My mom yelled. "You are freaking underage." she sighed and sat down on the ottoman in front of our sofa and took my hand. "Dan, I'm worried about you. I got a call from the headmaster about your grades; he wants a conference. Your lifestyle, to be blunt, sucks. I know that when you say that you're going 'to the movies' or 'to a friend's house' on the weekends that your going to a party. I'm not an idiot, I was a teenager once, you know. You're always in fights at school, you're so cruel to your fellow students. Does this scare you? Do you ever feel like you're just going nowhere?"

I sighed. She was right; to be completely honest, I did scare myself. The excessive drinking, the way I treated people. I hated all of it, but I just couldn't stop. My mum continued her lecture.

"What happened to the Daniel you were in middle school? The sweet boy who loved drama, who did his best in school? You didn't always make straight A's, but even when you failed a test, or had a D in a class, I knew that you were trying, that you were applying yourself. What happened to the Daniel you were when Dad was here-"

"Shut up, Mum! Dad's gone, and so is the old Dan! This is who I am now! Why can't you accept that?!" I got up and stormed off to my room, slamming and locking my door. I collapsed on my bed, crying. My dad and I were incredibly close, but when I was in seventh grade, he went on a business trip. He was only supposed to be gone for a week, but when two weeks, three weeks, one month passed with no word from him, Mum and I were scared. We finally got a letter from him, but all it contained were divorce papers. He had apparently had a affair with a woman while on his trip and left us- his family, for God's sake, for this woman. I haven't heard form him since.

Everything went to hell after he left. That's when Mum and I stopped getting along. That was when I met my current friends and started partying. Dad was the only one who I had even considered telling that I was gay; I was going to when he came back from his trip, because I knew that he would be accepting and loving. But when he didn't come back, I never told anyone. I just suppressed it.

I laid in a fetal position on my bed, crying for a while before getting up and changing for bed and falling asleep with my earbuds in, listening to Muse. 

~One week later~

I arrived in the part of our school building reserved for study hall and saw Phil standing there, his backpack slung on one shoulder, waiting for me. "Oh, hi, Dan." He said. "We'll be in this room." He gestured to one of the rooms that were connected to the study hall. 

I followed him in and sat down on one side of the table, with Phil sitting opposite of me. He got out his laptop, which was covered in stickers- I mean, you couldn't even see the laptop anymore- but I recognized most of them. Pokemon, anime, and Tumblr- all the things I secretly loved. "Seriously, Lester?" I said. "What's with the stickers?"

Phil didn't even look at me. "I like stickers, okay?" he muttered. "So, I think that we're going to start with Physics, because we have a test in two days. Get out your physics book and a notebook."

I pulled out my book, turning to the chapter that we were going to have a test on. Phil moved his chair around next to me. "Okay, is there anything you don't understand?" I shook my head. I was actually really good at science and understood it pretty well, I just never did any work. "Okay, then we'll just go to the questions for this section. Go ahead and answer them, and I'll check them over. Let me know if you don't understand anything."

Phil got out his own homework and started working while I was answering questions. I saw him check his phone fairly often- probably to see when he could get the hell out of here. I was doing the same. 

"Um, Phil? I'm done." Phil nodded and took my paper and checked over them. I noticed the way his eyebrows came together when he was concentrating, how he slightly stuck his tongue out. He was just so cute so-

No. I told myself. No, you have a girlfriend, Dan. You are not gay. Phil is a loser, someone who you shouldn't even give a second glance. Stop. "These- these are all right." Phil's voice pulled me from my thoughts. He looked genuinely surprised. 

"Dan, this is pretty hard stuff. If you can do this, then why are you failing?" I shrugged. "I don't believe in homework. Or classwork. I have better things to do."

"Yeah," Phil muttered. "Like drinking, partying, and making out with your girlfriend." He looked up at me. "Okay, we'll just go through the questions and I'll check them over."

For the next two hours, I did physics questions, Phil checked them over and we moved on to the next section. I was stuck on a particularly hard question when Phil stood up. "My dad's here; I have to go. We got through most of the chapter, which we'll finish tomorrow. Keep these questions and answers and use them as study guides." Phil then left without another word.

I got up and went outside to wait for my mum. When she arrived I got in the car and was showered with questions. "How was tutoring? How was Phil? Is he nice? He seems nice! What do you want for dinner?" I turned towards the window, ignoring her.

"Well, okay, Dan. I'll just stop and get fast food." That was the last thing I remember before my mum was shaking me. "Dan? You must be tired. I got you your usual, so maybe you should go to bed after you eat." I nodded and went inside.


	4. Phil's POV

My dad smiled at me as I got into the car. "Hey, Philip. How was it?"

"A literal Hell." I responded. "I can't stand that kid, Dad! He thinks he is so much better than everyone. It's not even like he doesn't know what he's doing! He did every Physics question except for maybe two of them without any help. He said he's just 'too busy' to do homework and class work." I put air quotation marks around 'too busy.' "Yeah, he's too busy drinking and partying and recovering from hangovers. He's a complete idiot."

Dad shook his head. "That's just ridiculous. You know that if you ever started drinking and coming home drunk you would be in more trouble than I would care to mention. You're a level-headed kid, Philly. Maybe you'll rub off on him."

"I don't think so, Dad. He's been a complete ass since eighth grade. Some people never change."

We rode the rest of the way in silence, and my mum came out of the house as soon as we got home. "How did it go, Philly?" She asked. "A literal Hell." I responded. My dad winked at my mum. "He'll give you the rant later, I'm sure. For know though, Phil, your mother and I are going out. We'll see you later, kiddo." 

I waved as Mum got into the car and watched them drive down the driveway before going inside. I immediately went to my room, reaching under my mattress, locating my razor blades and went to my bathroom. I pressed the blades to my skin and watched the blood well up, enjoying the moment of satisfaction I experienced. When the moment ended, I ran my arms under the tap and went to my room to do homework. 

This all started in my freshman year when I came out as gay. I think most people already knew, but I guess that me saying it and making it official brought about the bullying. And then, as it is now, Dan was the person who made it the worst. I've gone to the headmaster many, many times. Dan would get suspended, and come back more pissed off than before. I learned my lesson after I got Dan suspended for a week. When he came back to school, he beat the crap out of me. I never went to the headmaster again. 

I endured months of bullying before I broke. I found one of my mum's disposable razors and, well, you see where I am now. I've thought about suicide, but not seriously. I know that it would break my parent's hearts, and I know that I have more to live for beyond high school. I had hope for a better future. 

I was laying on my bed, listening to my favorite song, "Uprising" by Muse, when my parents got home. I heard my mum come up the stairs and knocked lightly on my door. "Are you asleep, Phil?"

"No," I said. My mum came in and sat on my bed. "I was just coming in to say goodnight. Also, I got you this." She said holding up a shirt from my favorite anime, Attack on Titan. "I saw it in a shop window and decided that you should have a little something after your tutoring session was a literal Hell. Goodnight, honey." she kissed me on my forehead before leaving and closing the door lightly behind her.

I smiled at the shirt- I had seen it before and wanted it. I got up to hang up the shirt before laying down on my bed and un-pausing the song. I got under my comforter and cuddled with my Totoro stuffed animal before drifting off into a content sleep.


	5. Dan's POV

Friday finally came- I never knew a week could be as long as this one was. I sat down after school in the same room Phil and I had been doing our tutoring sessions in all week. I threw my test to him. "I got a B. I guess you're not too bad with this tutoring thing, gayLester."

Phil nodded. "It wasn't really me, Dan. You just actually tried. So good job. Today we're going to do English."

"Are you kidding me? I have a party to go to tonight, Phil. I got a B on a test, so I think I should be let off for today." There was no way. I had blown off Elana, and my friends, all week. There was no way I could just not show up tonight.

Phil shook his head. "Too bad. You do enough partying as it is. We're doing English, so get out your English stuff. You can get drunk another day. Do you want to graduate or not?"

Phil was being a lot more abrupt and assertive today. Weird. "What makes you think I even want to graduate? What makes you think I don't want to drop out? Why do you think I even care?!" I was yelling.

I saw tears spring to Phil's eyes. "Obviously if you wanted to drop out you already would have. Now calm down and just get out your freaking book."

I rolled my eyes. "Can't we just, I don't know, have a makeup tutoring session on Sunday or something? I promise I'll actually show up."

"Ugh, fine. You better show up, Dan." Phil looked incredibly angry. "Can I have your number, then?"

My heart started beating harder in my chest. No, No, Dan. Stop. "Why the hell do you want my number, Lester?" Phil looked incredibly angry. "Damn it, Dan! I'm asking so I can contact you about when and where we do our tutoring session this weekend! I do not, I repeat, do not, have any kind of feelings for you! Just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I want to be in a relationship with everyone guy I meet! If it makes you feel better I'll just give you my number so that I can't text you first!"

"Okay, that's fine." I said and pulled out my phone as Phil recited his number to me. I then texted my mum to come and pick me up and Phil did the same. "Why are you so angry today, Lester?" I asked.

"Gosh, I don't know, Dan. Maybe it's because I've had to spend a week tutoring the person who makes my life a living hell. You wouldn't be happy, either, and you would want to get this done as fast as possible." Phil grabbed his stuff and walked out of the room. 

My phone buzzed; my mum telling me that she was here. When I got into the car my mum had bags in the bag. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you, did I?" She said. "I'm going to Maggie's house for the weekend. I'm leaving as soon as I drop you off."

Maggie was my mum's best friend; they had been friends since they were kids and Maggie lived a couple hours ago. Every so often Mum would go and spend a weekend with her best friend. I pulled out my phone to text my friend, Kai, and tell him I needed a ride to the party.

"Okay, well I'm going to go to Kai's house tonight. He's going to give me a ride."\

Mum sighed. "Do me a favor, Dan. Don't do anything you regret. And don't drink too much." We pulled into our driveway. "Love you, Danny. Have a good time." I watched her drive away before going inside to take a nap before getting ready.

At about eight that night, Kai texted me. I'm outside. I went outside and hopped in his car. "Thank God for Friday." I said. "I don't think I could take another day with gaylester." Kai nodded.

"I feel for you. I don't know how you're doing it. Whatever, I got loads of alcohol, so feel free to drink your troubles away, man." We pulled into Kai's driveway, which was filled with cars crammed together. 

As soon as we walked in, I was greeted by Elana, who threw herself on me and started kissing me. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around her waist. She looked at me. "I missed you, babe. Every since you've had that tutoring I haven't gotten to see you much." She gave me a pouty face. "Sorry, 'Lana. We spend the night here, together, okay?"

Elana nodded happily and pulled me into the kitchen where we each got a beer before we moved into the living room blaring pop music and started dancing. I went back for more drinks every so often; I'm not even sure how much I had to drink, just that I was incredibly drunk. I don't really remember much before I heard sirens. 

"Cops are here!" Someone yelled before everyone ran out the back door, using the escape route we had used the last couple times the cops had shown up. If you jumped Kai's fence, there was a bit of a forested area that led into town, and we never got caught. Oh, sure, someone would get arrested here and there, but overall it worked. Except I was so out of it, that I had no idea what was going on.

"Dan! Hurry up!" I saw Elana pulling on my arm. "What? What's going on?" I slurred. "Oh my God, Dan! Fine! Get arrested. I don't care." Elana then ran with everyone else. After a couple seconds I realized what was going on and as I was staggering to the back door, I realized I was a couple seconds late. I hate cuffs around my arms and I was being put into the back of a police car.

As the car drove away, my only though was no one tried to help me. My friends, they didn't stay to help. Only Elana gave a pathetic attempt. 

At the station, I was place into one of the cells they use for people waiting for someone to come and pick them up. "Okay, kid. You have one phone call, so call your parents." One of the officers was opening the cell.

"My mum's out of town. I can't call her." I said. 

"Okay, then call your dad."

"I haven't seen my dad in five years. I don't know where he is."

"Okay, well do you have a friend you can call? Or another family member in the area?"

Then it came to me. "Yes. I have a friend I can call."

I made my way over to the phone in the station and used my phone to get the number. The phone dialed for a bit before someone answered.

"Phil..." 

(Sorry for the deleting of chapters and comments that may have been left. The chaptering got all screwy, so I had to fix it all. ^^')


	6. Phil's POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at my alarm clock to see the time; 2 AM. Who in the hell was calling me at 2AM? I checked my phone to see a number I didn't know. I don't usually answer phone calls from people I don't know, but I did anyways. "Hello?" I said groggily.

"Phil?" I heard Dan's voice on the other end. "Phil... I-I need to you to come get me. Please."

I moaned. "Where are you? Why can't you call your mum?" I heard a repressed sob. 

"I'm at the police station. My mum's out of town for the weekend. Please, Phil, I have no one else to call. My friends left me at the party when the cops came, and..."

"Fine. I'll come get your sorry ass." I hung up and got dressed. I knocked lightly on my parent's door. "Mum? Dad? I'm taking the car. Dan called me- he's at the police station and he needs me to pick him up."

My dad sat up. "What? Why would that-that ass call you? After everything he's done, you're going to go and pick him up?" 

I nodded. "His mum is out of town and his friends deserted him at the party, which is why he got arrested. I may not like him, but I won't just leave him there."

My mum nodded. "That's good, Philly. I'm proud of you for doing that. They keys are on the counter. Be careful."

I thanked them and grabbed the keys for my dad's car. When I arrived at the station, I went to the front desk, letting them know that I was here for Dan. A couple minutes later Dan walked out and was unable to meet my eyes. "Let's go, Dan." I said abruptly. I was still pissed off at him. He had been unusually mean that day- or the day before, I suppose. 

When we got in the car, Dan looked at me like he knew he was in for it. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, DAN? WERE YOU SO DRUNK THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN RUN AWAY? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AN ARREST LOOKS ON YOUR RECORD? YOU'RE SO LUCKY THEY LET YOU OFF!" I was screaming louder than I ever have. Dan looked at me, his light brown eyes slightly afraid. I softened up a bit. God, those eyes just broke me... wait. Why am I thinking that? He has made the last five years of life hell for me. 

"Dan, you are so lucky I came to pick you up. You are lucky that I have some compassion in me, because if I didn't you would still be at that police station. I would go straight to the headmaster and demand that I not tutor you anymore. Because, honestly, you should just fail. You should just not graduate, but I am a normal human being with empathy and I won't let that happen."

After a couple silent minutes, Dan spoke up. "Um, Phil? This is isn't the way to my house."

"Well," I said. "For one, I don't know where your house is. Two, I'm not letting you be on your own, God knows what you'll do. You're staying at my house. Don't worry, we have a guest bedroom. You can probably fit into my clothes, so no worries."

I pulled into my house and showed Dan to the guest room. I went upstairs and grabbed some clothes for him and showed him where all of the extra toiletries were. I nodded to Dan. "Goodnight." 

He nodded back. "Goodnight, Lester. Oh, and, um, thank you."

"Yep." I said then walked into my parents room to let them know that Dan was here. I went upstairs and changed out of my clothes and crawled into bed. 

I awoke to a knocking on my door at around 10. "Um, Phil?" I heard Dan ask. 

"Hm?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Dan walked in. "Um, I couldn't find any towels. Also, I don't think this shirt will fit." He handed me an old plaid shirt I had.

"I'll go grab you a towel, just pick any shirt I have in my closet." I went to grab a towel and when I came back, Dan was holding one of my older Attack on Titan shirts.

"Is this okay?" He asked. "I didn't want to grab the other one because it looks brand new."

I nodded. "Yeah that's fine. Do you watch Attack on Titan?"

Dan eagerly nodded. "It's a great show. Not many people know that I watch it though... actually, you're the only one."

"Well, I feel honored." I said sarcastically. "Now go shower. You smell like alcohol still." Dan walked out and I went into my own bathroom to get dressed. I put on an Adventure Time hoodie and black jeans before going into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. 

Dan walked out 15 minutes later while I was in the middle of my third bowl of cereal. "Help yourself." I said. "My parents go out to breakfast every Saturday morning, so they won't be back 'till around noon."

Dan looked around the kitchen like a lost puppy. He was just so... No. "Oh, for Goodness sake. I'll get the stupid cereal." I got up to reach for a box, when my sleeve slipped up my arm. I had forgotten that this hoodie had shorter sleeves. Dan and I looked at my arm at the same time before I quickly pulled my sleeve down and threw the cereal at him. I ran into my room and slammed the door.


	7. Dan's POV

I must have been imagining things. He must have gotten scratched by something. Maybe he dropped a glass and he fell onto it. Anything but what I thought it was. My inner voice was screaming at me. See what you do? This is your fault, Dan! You hurt him and he does this to himself.

Phil came out a couple minutes later wearing a different hoodie. "Sorry, I had, uh, forgotten that I left on a candle in my room. My mum doesn't let me have on a candle in my room unless I'm the room." I think he knew that I saw, but neither of us acknowledged what happened.

Phil nervously pulled at his sleeves. "Um, when you're done with your cereal, we'll go ahead and start working on English. Do you know when you're mum is getting back?"

I nodded. "Sounds good. And I think tomorrow some time. Why?"

"I just don't want you to go back home by yourself. Please don't be mad, Dan, but quite frankly, I don't trust you. I really don't want you to go and screw up your life."

I was completely taken aback. None of my friends had ever been concerned for me. They were the ones encouraging me to do the things I was doing. "Um, okay. I mean, uh, thank you for actually caring." Wait. Did that actually just come out my mouth?

A small smile crept over Phil's face. I noticed how cute it was, how his blue eyes crinkled at the corners. And this time, I didn't stop the thought.

"I'll don't have any of my school stuff, Phil. Do you maybe have a notebook I could use?"

Phil nodded. "Yeah, I'll go get one." Phil ran back to his room and came back with his English book and an extra notebook. We sat at his kitchen table, and worked for about an hour and a half when Phil's parents came in.

"Phil? We're home!" Phil's mum yelled. When they walked into the kitchen, Phil got up to hug them. "Mum, Dad, this is Dan." I got up to go and meet them. I saw Phil's dad glare at me, but Phil's mum was really nice.

"It's nice to meet you, Dan." She gave me a hug. "Are you doing alright?" I nodded. "Yes, thank you." Phil's dad grudgingly shook my hand, saying nothing. Phil gave him a look. "Well, we're going to continue studying. Dan's mum isn't coming back until tomorrow, so he's going to stay here another night."

Phil's parents said that was alright- well, his mum did- and they went to their room. I sat back down, playing with the pen I was using. "I think your dad hates me."

"Um, well," Phil said. "You have been a complete ass to me since middle school, and that would give anyone a pretty good reason not to like someone. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean."

I shook my head. "No, you're right. If it was the opposite, I think my mum would be the same way."

Phil looked at me with a empathetic look on his face. "Dan, c-can I ask? What happened to your dad? You never talk about him."

I hung my head low. "In seventh grade, he went on a business trip. He was only supposed to be gone for a week, but a month went by and we never heard from him. Then we got a letter from him. The letter was divorce papers. He had an affair with some Italian woman, and I haven't heard from him since. That's when everything went to hell. When I changed, when my mum and I stopped talking unless it was arguing or absolutely necessary, when I began screwing up my life. My dad and I, we were-" I began to choke on the words as tears streamed down my face. "We were really close. I didn't understand why he would leave us." I was full on sobbing now. I was so embarrassed- I don't cry in front of people.

Phil grabbed a tissue box and handed it to me. "I'm so sorry Dan. That should never have happened."

Why was he sorry for me? Why did he even care? I had treated him horribly for four years. If I was in his position, I wouldn't care at all. "It's okay. I mean, the other woman was probably better than us-"

"No, Dan. It's not okay. No father should do that. You shouldn't have to think that. What he did was wrong. There's no excuse for that." I looked into Phil's eyes, and for a moment I felt like I was swimming in his eyes. Swimming in a sea of compassion and actual concern.

I composed myself. "Let's just get back to whatever we were doing. So, as you were saying about the poem?"

We studied for a bit longer. Phil's parents took us to dinner, and we went to bed late that night after watching a horror movie. The next morning my mum texted me, letting me know that she would be back in an hour. I took a shower and changed into my clothes from Friday, which Phil's mum had so kindly washed for me.

I walked into the kitchen to be greeted by Phil pouring two bowls of cereal. He handed one to me. "My mum said that she would be home in a hour- I guess half an hour now." 

Phil nodded. "Okay, I'll take you home then when we finish breakfast." 

"Oh, wait!" I said, running back to the guest room I had been using. I came back out, handing Phil back his Attack on Titan shirt. "Here's your shirt back. Thanks for letting me wear it." 

Phil smiled. "Keep it. I have like three others. No, really. Keep it." I had tried to refuse, but he wouldn't let me. 

When we finished breakfast, Phil told his parents that he was taking me home, and I gave him directions to my house. When we pulled up, my mum came out of the house. "Oh, dear God. Daniel Howell! I was so scared when you weren't home! Where have you been? And who is this?" She was referring to Phil. 

Phil gave me a look; he had convinced me that I had to tell my mum what had happened. "Um, well, at the party I went to at Kai's, the cops showed up, and I, well, I was arrested. You were out of town, and Phil was the only person I knew to call. So he came and picked me up, and I stayed at his house over the weekend. So, Mum, this is Phil, my tutor." 

My mum's eyes were huge. "Oh my God, Dan. I told you! I told you not to drink too much, but you didn't listen as usual!" She turned to Phil. "So you're Phil." She hugged him. "Thank you so much. Thank you for what you're doing, it really means a lot. Give your mum and dad my thanks." 

Phil smiled. "Of course. I couldn't just leave Dan alone at the police station."

"But, but I don't understand." My mum said. "Why would you do that after how Daniel has treated you? And don't think I don't know. I get called from the headmaster all the time." 

Phil looked from me to my mum. "It's just how I was raised. No matter how someone treats me, treat them kindly." He then turned around and drove away.


	8. Phil's POV

It started small. A nod in the hallway, the occasional smile during school hours. He stopped calling me "gaylester" and stopped physically hurting me. We laughed together during tutoring sessions. He started trying in class. He stopped going to parties. I noticed him pulling away from his friends a bit. Basically, Dan Howell was changing.

Sure, we weren't friends in school; I think he wasn't ready to fall from his place at the top of the totem pole; I don't blame him. Being at the bottom sucks. But I knew that he was making an effort. And he knew that I knew. For the first time since middle school, Dan was happy; truly happy. 

On a Friday a couple weeks after what we call "The Incident" Dan came over to my table, where I sat alone, during lunch. "I'm demanding the calculus homework from you; write some numbers and random shit down on a piece of paper." He whispered to me. I grabbed my notebook and started writing. "Okay." He said. "So, my mum does this thing the last Sunday of every month in which she has her best friend and her daughter over to our house for this big dinner. I'm allowed to have a friend over, and I wanted to know if you would like to come."

I stopped writing and looked up at him. His brown eyes were hopeful. God, his eyes were beautiful when they looked like that. "Wouldn't your girlfriend and other friends be mad if you didn't invite them?"

"Naw. I told them that I was grounded for two months after getting arrested. Which isn't true." Dan winked at me. "So, is that a yes?" 

I smiled. "Yeah, I'll make sure to tell my mum. Tell me the details at tutoring. I don't want your friends to be suspicious that you're over here too long."

Dan smiled and grabbed the paper. "Thanks." I watched him walk away. I went back to eating my sandwich when one of my almost-friend-but-not-quite from science came over. 

"Um, Phil. What was that about?" She said. 

I shrugged. "He wanted the answers from last night's calculus homework, as usual."

She looked at me doubtfully. "Are you sure? Because you don't look as upset as you usually do when Dan talks to you." 

I looked at her. "Yes, I'm sure. He's been a bit nicer since I started tutoring me." I knew that she could tell I was lying; the obviously repressed smile on my face gave me away. 

She rolled her eyes. "Mh. Sure. Just nice." She walked away.

That day at tutoring, Dan gave me all of the details. We laughed, we made fun of people at school, we did homework. Two hours were up before we knew it. Honestly, these tutoring sessions went too fast; my phone buzzed with my dad letting me know he was here way too soon. I got up, sighing. "Well, I've got to go. See you on Sunday!" I grabbed my stuff and felt Dan's eyes on my back as I walked out. 

I got in my dad's car. "Hey, Dad! I just wanted to let you know that I'm going over to Dan's house on Sunday." 

My dad looked at me as if I just said I was going to bomb the school. "Why would you want to go over to his house? Do you guys have extra studying to do?" 

I shook my head. "No. We're just going to hang out." I explained to him what Dan's mum did every month.

"Phil," my dad said, "I just don't understand why you would want to hang out with him. He's treated you like dirt for years! What is going on lately?!" 

I looked at my dad, surprised by his yelling. "He's changed, Dad. He's not the same person he was before he changed for the worst, but he's so much nicer now. I think we're friends. I'm going, and there's nothing that's going to change my mind."

"Okay, Phil. But if he hurts you, that's not my fault." 

We sat in silence for the rest of the ride home. When we got home, I got out of the car quickly. When I got inside, my mum greeted me. "How was school, Philly?" 

"Good." I responded. "I already told Dad, but I'm going over to Dan's on Sunday, just to hang out. His mum has some dinner thing she does every month and Dan invited me."

Mum looked at me skeptically. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Phil?"

"Oh my God! Yes, I'm sure! It's going to fine! I understand why you guys are worried, but I can make my own decisions!" I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I started crying. "I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't meant to yell at you. I-I just got frustrated."

My mum pulled me into a hug. "It's okay, Philly. Stop crying, I'm not mad. I understand- you're almost graduated, you just want to have freedom to make your own decisions. I understand. It's just our job as parents to worry. We don't want you to get hurt." I pulled myself back form the hug after a couple seconds. 

I went to my room and laid on my bed. I knew Dan was changing- he was being so much nicer. I think I was changing, too. Every time I looked at him, I didn't feel anger or hurt. I felt something else. Friendship, maybe? But somehow different. I didn't know how to explain it. I got up to put in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD to get my mind off of it. Alas, no amount of Buffy could get my mind off of Dan. Saturday could not come fast enough.


	9. Dan's POV

"Dan, when is your friend coming?" I looked at Kayla, Maggie's daughter, who was sitting on the couch. She was the same age I was and was like a sister to me, despite living a couple hours away. We had practically grown up together when Maggie lived closer to our family. 

"He should be here by now." As if on cue, the doorbell rang. "Oh! That must be him!" I got up to get the door, doing a quick fringe check before opening the door. "Hey Phil!" I smiled, looking at his hands; he was holding some kind of dessert. "Phil! I told you not to bring anything!"

Phil laughed. "My mum told me I couldn't come empty-handed." He nodded towards the Attack on Titan shirt I was wearing- the one he gave me. "Nice shirt, where'd you get it?" he joked. 

I stared into his blue eyes for just a second before responding. "Oh, what? Yeah, a friend gave it to me. He's a pretty cool guy." I said with a wink. "Come on in." I lead him into the kitchen, where I introduced him to my family. "Mum, grandma, Maggie, this is my friend, Phil. He's the one who's been tutoring me." My mum gave him a hug, as did my grandma and Maggie. "Nice to meet you, Phil." Maggie said. "I've heard good things about you." Phil gave me a look that I couldn't quite decipher.

My grandma, however, took the opportunity to say more. "I'm so glad your're in Danny's life! He's been a wreck since his dad left, you know! Maybe he'll straighten out with a nice boy like you around!" Phil just smiled. "Uh, let me take you to meet Kayla!" I said, staging a quick exit. 

"Danny, huh?" Phil laughed. I groaned. "That was my nickname when I was like, five. My grandma loves it though." When we arrived in the living room, I saw Kayla do a double check before running her fingers through her hair. She gave Phil a hug. "Hi! I'm Kayla. Nice to meet you!"

Phil smiled. "I'm Phil. Nice to meet you Kayla." I looked at Phil. "Do you want to go upstairs and watch a movie or something?" Phil nodded. "Yeah, sure." We started upstairs when Kayla grabbed my arm and gave me puppy dog eyes. "Can I come with you guys?"

I shook my head. "Nope." Kayla crossed her arms. "Oh, come on, Dan! You never let me hang out with you and your friends- who are always incredibly attractive." I heard Phil upstairs, yelling at me asking where I went. I laughed at Kayla. "Kayla, you don't have a chance with Phil!"

"Oh! Is this your room?" I heard Phil yell from upstairs. 

"What are you trying to say, Danny-boy?" Kayla asked, using the one nickname I hated most. "Nothing." I said. "Except that Phil is gay, so you wouldn't have a chance." "Oh." She said before walking back to the couch.

When I came into my room, Phil was just standing there. "Woah." He said. The walls of my room was covered in posters: anime, Pokemon, posters from bands, video games. My bookcase was crowded with DVDs of my favorite shows. Phil walked over to my bookcase. "No way! You have the entire first season of Attack on Titan on DVD? I can't find that anywhere!" He turned to me. "I didn't know that you liked any of this!"

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm just about as big of a nerd as you are. I don't let anybody except my mum in my room, ever. None of my friends know I'm into this kind of stuff. When I have friends over, we hang out in the basement." I grabbed the Attack on Titan DVDs. "Do you want to watch?"

Phil smiled and his eyes sparkled. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" He went and sat on my bed. I put in the DVD and we watched the anime and I tried to make sarcastic comments, but Phil shushed me every time. Guess he didn't like people talking during any kind of film. We watched until we were called down to dinner, then came back and watched some more, and this time we included Kayla who was bored out of her mind. 

The day went by way too fast, and before I knew it Phil had to leave. I walked him to the door. "I'll see you at school tomorrow!" I said waving. Phil rewarded me with one of his grins and waved back before driving off.

I walked into the kitchen and took over watching the dishes while my mum, grandma, and Maggie went to watch television. Kayla walked into the kitchen, leaning on the doorway. "Are you two together?" She asked. I nearly dropped the pan I was washing. I turned around to look at her. "Pardon?"

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, Dan. I see the way you looked at Phil. And the way he looked at you. You are so in love."

I gulped. "I am not!"

"You obviously don't know what love is, then"

I pointed to the doorway. "Kayla, get out."

"Aw, don't be ashamed. You guys would be cute. Wait, are you even gay?"

"Kayla, out!"

Kayla giggled and walked out, but not before one last comment. "Danny's in looove!" she said in a sing-song voice. 

I finished washing the dishes, but the entire time I questioned if what I said was true.


	10. Phil's POV

When I got home, I went and laid on my bed and closed my eyes. I was playing back Dan's adorable laugh in my head. His light brown eyes that, for the first time in a long time, have a light in them. His fringed hair, all of the things we have in common. My thoughts were interrupted by mum knocking on my door. "Philly? Can I come in?" 

"Yeah." I responded.

My mum came and sat on my bed next to me; my eyes were still closed so I felt the bed move as she sat down. "How was it?" 

I smiled. "I had a wonderful time."

"That's good to hear." She said. "What are you thinking about."

Dan's laugh, I thought. "Nothing." I said.

"Yes, Philly, I'm sure it's nothing at all. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're in love."

My eyes popped open. "Mum, I am not in love. We're just friends."

"You know your father and I are very supportive of you being gay."

"Mum!"

"We'd be perfectly fine with you having a boyfriend..."

"MUM!" I sat up. "We're not together! I'm going to bed. Love you, Mum."

My mum hugged me. "Yes, but not for long. Goodnight, love." She got up and closed the door softly behind her.

The next day at school, I felt like I was floating. After our first class of the day, Dan walked past my locker as usual. "Hey, Phil!" He said happily. "Hey, Dan!" I responded, smiling. I saw Dan's friend, Kai, shoulder Dan.

"Why are you being nice to gaylester?" I heard Kai ask. "He's not turning you gay or anything, is he?"

"He's helping me get my grades up, the least I can do is be polite." I couldn't hear what Kai said.

It was half-way through my next class that I realized something. Dan hadn't denied being gay. He didn't immediately say he wasn't. My day automatically got 110% better. During physics, we were assigned a project and we had to have a partner. All the girls were calling out to Dan, begging him to be their partner. Usually Dan accepted, but not today. He gave a cheeky wink, saying, "Sorry, girls. Not today." Then he walked over to me. I felt my heart beat harder in my chest. 

"Wanna be my partner?" Dan asked. 

I nodded. "Well, yeah. I mean, we spend so much time doing school work together anyways. It wouldn't make sense otherwise." We immediately got to work on the project, getting a good bit done in the 45 minutes we had left of class.

We had our tutoring session, and I went home. I walked into the kitchen and saw my mum cooking dinner. "That smells incredible!" I said as I walked over to sample one of the potato wedges my mum was cooking.

"Philip!" my mum said when she saw me and jokingly swatted my hand away. "Mum," I said. "I think you were right."

"About what, Phil?"

"What you said last night."

"Now, Phil, remind me what I said last night." I knew she was just trying to have an I-told-you-so moment.

"That I'm in love."


	11. Dan's POV

I was sitting at the lunch the next day, still feeling like I was light as could be after Phil had come over on Sunday. Elana came over and sat on my lap and leaned in for a kiss. When I barely kissed her back, she pulled back and gave me a frustrated look. "Sorry, Elana." I said. "One of the headmaster's main complaints was my 'unnecessary displays of affection' so maybe not now."

Elana crossed her arms. "Never stopped you before, Dan. If that's so important now, then why don;t you make more time for me?"

"Elana, you know how my mum feels about me going to parties after the last one. How about this; We'll go out to Starbucks after I finish tutoring today. How does 5:30 sound?"

Elana nodded. "Yeah, the same one we usually go to? It's about time; we haven't been in forever!"

"Um, yeah. Same one as usual." I said. Just then the bell rang and Elana grabbed her ridiculously expensive backpack and headed off to class with her friends. I got up and grabbed my backpack, realizing something as I did. I couldn't keep leading Elana on like this. I was falling for someone else, and this was unfair to her.

I went through the rest of the day with this thought in my head. I couldn't shake it off. Phil must have noticed, because as soon as we sat down for tutoring, he asked me, "Okay, Dan. What's wrong?"

I started pulling books out of my bag. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" Phil just rolled his eyes. 

"Dan, I know you better than that. I could tell during class that something was up. Is is something with your mum? Other family? You can tell me, you know."

I sighed. No hiding it from Phil. "No, my family's fine. I'm breaking up with Elana today. I realized that I don't even like her, and I can't just keep leading her on. I'm meeting her at Starbucks after our tutoring session."

Phil looked concerned. "How do you think that she'll feel about that? I mean, she doesn't seem like the type to take that well."

"Oh, yeah. I mean, the last guy that broke up with her ended up with a broken nose. Her brother is a second degree black belt in martial arts. Yeah, I'm kind of scared."

Phil's eyes widened. "Oh. Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to text me or something."

I nodded, and we started working. The next two hours went by so slow, just because of the dread building up inside of me. When we finally finished, Phil gave me a hug, and my heart started beating hard. It was beating so hard I was sure he could feel it. "Good luck." Phil said before pulling back.

I mumbled my thanks before getting in my car, which my mum had kindly let me use to drive to school today. I pulled out of the school and made my way to Starbucks. I was in there for a couple minutes when Elana showed up. She ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Hey, Dan." She said cheerily. We walked up to the counter and made our orders. Elana ordered the most complicated coffee order ever. All I heard was, "Double shot of such-and-such, low fat this, half a pump of that." The only thing I understood is that she wanted a large.

"Um, I'll just get a large caramel frappechino." I said. The guy taking our orders looked at me gratefully- probably glad that I had a simple order. He asked our names, and we took our seat at our usual table. Elana and I made small talk until our order was called. I went over to grab our drinks and sat back down. 

"So, Elana." I began. "I think we need to talk."

"Damn right we do." She said. "Why do you never spend time with me anymore? Or any of your friends, Dan?"

"It's nothing against you. I'm setting my priorities straight, and I, um, don't think this is working."

"Yeah, you're right. This isn't working. I understand that you want to do better in school, and I'm happy for you, but aren't your friends a priority? Aren't I a priority?"

I swallowed nervously. "Elana, I mean that we aren't working. I need to be completely focused, and I think that being in a relationship right now isn't helping. It's nothing against you, honest. You are a beautiful, wonderful girl and anyone would be lucky to be your boyfriend. I've just been reevaluating my life, and I think this is best."

Elana looked at me with fury in her eyes. "WHAT?!" she yelled. Everyone was looking at us. "What the hell is wrong with you, Dan? 'Reevaluating your life?' Are you serious?"

"Listen, Elana. Please, just listen. I've been changing, and I think it's only natural that some of my relationships change, as well."

"You know what?! You have been changing, and I don't like the new Dan anyways. So forget you, Daniel Howell. We're done!" She stood up and walked out, but thought better of it. She turned around, took the lid off of her drink- which she had only taken two sips out of- and dumped it on my head. Cup and all. Then she left.

I just sat and blinked, trying to process what had just happened. Someone ran over to me with a couple towels. "Rough break-up?" He said. I looked at him- he had incredibly green eyes and light brown hair. I nodded. "Yeah."

He handed me a towel and helped wipe up the coffee on the floor. I used the towel he gave me to attempt to get the coffee off of my head. The guy helping me took my towel when he was done. "I'm PJ," he said. "You're Dan, right?" I gave him a confused look, unsure of how he knew me. "I think we have the same history class. And my friend Phil is tutoring you." I just nodded.

"Hey, Chris!" PJ yelled to another boy behind the counter. "Could you get me a couple more towels?"

"Why can't you do it?" Chris yelled back.

"Because I'm on break, and I'm already spending it working!" PJ yelled back. He turned back to me. "Sorry about what happened; Elana's kind of a bitch. We dated in middle school before she got popular. I guess she hasn't changed much." 

I smiled. "Yeah. You know, I don't know why I dated her to begin with."

Chris came over and gave PJ more towels. He laughed. "Yeah, that's a good question. Anyways, this is Chris. Chris, this is Dan."

Chris gave me a nod. "Hello, Dan." I finished cleaning back and handed the towels back to Chris and PJ. "Thank you. I'm going to go now. Probably over to Phil's"

PJ smiled. "Okay. Tell Phil we say hi!" I told him that I would and I walked out. I pulled out my phone and texted Phil. Hey, I'm coming over. He responded almost immediately. I assume it didn't go well? I sighed. That would be putting it lightly I texted back. 

When I arrived at Phil's house he opened the door before I even got to the door. He just looked at me. "Dan, you smell and look like you just bathed in Starbucks coffee."

"That's a pretty accurate description of what happened."


	12. Phil's POV

Dan and I sat on the floor of my bedroom- I didn't want him making my bed all sticky and Starbucks-y- as he explained what had happened. My only thought through the entire story was that Elana was completely crazy. What girl did that? Honestly. 

Dan finished his story and laid on the ground, exhausted. I laid down a couple inches from him. "Well, are you upset over the breakup? Do you regret it at all?" I asked. Dan smiled and I could see his dimples, which are probably the most adorable part of him. God, his smiles got to me.

"Nah." He said. "It was time. Plus, I think that I'm falling for someone else." My stomach exploded in butterflies, and I risked the question. "Who?"

Dan closed his eyes. "Someone. It's a secret, though." "Do I know them?" I asked. Dan nodded. "Yeah."

At that moment I was filled with bravery, and I was sitting up, about to lean in and do what I've been wanting to do for a while. Because, honestly, I think he was talking about me. Life hates me, though, because just as I was sitting up, I heard the door to the house open and my mum and dad came in from the restaurant they went to for dinner. "Philly! We're home!"

I sighed. "I'm in my room, Mum! Oh! And Dan's over, too!" 

"Oh! Okay. Hello, Dan!" She yelled back. Dan had become a regular at my house, and my parents had grown to like him a lot.

"Hi, Mrs. Lester!" Dan yelled back. He got up and held out his hand to help me up. We both walked into the kitchen. My mum had her back turned to us, but she heard us come in. "How are you Dan? Is you mum-" She turned around. "Oh. Oh my, what happened? What's in your hair? Phil, did you play a prank on Dan?"

Dan shook his head. "No. My ex-girlfriend didn't take the breakup well and dumped an entire large cup of Starbucks on me." My mum's eyes went large. "Oh. Well then, I guess it's good you broke up with a crazy girl like that."

Dan nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad we broke up. I think I'm going to go home, though. Bye, Mrs. Lester. Bye, Phil." He tried to give me hug, but I jokingly moved away. "Yeah, no. I don't want a coffee bath!" Dan laughed then walked out the door.

My mum turned to me. "I thought he was gay? Is he not...?" I shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he's at least bi. I think the girlfriend was a cover up. I'm pretty sure he likes me, though!" I slightly danced around the kitchen. I was so happy every time I thought about it. 

"Hmmm," My mum thought for a second. "Phil, you know we're having a Valentine's Day party, right?" I nodded. "Well, since he's single now, you should invite him. But just as a friend. Maybe he'll get the hint? It's worth a try."

I gave my mum a big hug. "That's a great idea! Mum, you're a genius!" She laughed. "I know."

The next day at school during lunch, I texted Dan. Come over here and pretend to demand homework. 

Ummm, why? He responded.

Because I need to tell you something.

I watched Dan get up and walk over. I pulled out a notebook and started righting down bogus science-y looking answers. "Okay, so you're coming over Saturday. My parents are having a Valentine's Day party, and since we're both single I thought we could hang out and I could introduce you to Buffy!" Dan smiled. "Sounds good! I'll be there." I handed him the piece of paper and he left.

May I just say, that the week went by so. Freaking. Slow. Why is it that whenever I was hanging out with Dan the time leading up to it seemed to take forever?

Saturday finally came around and I stood in front of my closet with my mum. "But, what should I wear? I don't want to look like I'm trying to hard, but I don't want to look like I normally do."

My mum rolled my eyes. "Phil, I swear that you're worse than a girl. How about this? It'll bring out your eyes." She held up a plaid blue shirt I hadn't worn in a while. I nodded approvingly. "You're right. I'll wear that." My mum left and I changed, then straightened up my room.

When I opened the door for Dan, the first thing he said was, "Wow. Your eyes are really blue!" I smiles and gave him a hug. "Ready for me to introduce you to the wonders of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

Dan smiled. "You bet!" We went upstairs and sat on my bed, watching Buffy and eating the chocolate I had bought the day before. Almost the entire time, Dan kept telling me, "Oh my God! Why have I never watched Buffy before? This is awesome!" I kept shushing him. 

After two hours of Buffy, I looked over at Dan, who was watching intently. I saw the way his brown eyes were focused, how his brown fringe swept perfectly over his forehead. "Dan," I began. "I need to tell you something. I-" Of course, at that moment my mum's friend's six year old daughter burst into my room. "Your mummy says that you two have to come down for dinner!" She said, then ran out.

OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. EVERY TIME I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING TO DAN, SOMEONE GETS IN THE WAY. 

Dan looked at me. "You what?" 

"I, um, I'm proud of how you're doing in school." Stupid, Phil. Why can't you just say how you're feeling?

Dan's face fell a bit. "Oh. Thank you!" He tried to counter it quickly, but I could tell that he was expecting more. 

We went down and had an excellent dinner- my mum, and my dad, were great cooks! After stuffing ourselves, and talking for a bit, Dan looked at his phone. "Sorry, everyone, but I have to go. Thank you for the excellent dinner, Mrs. Lester. It was nice to meet you all." I walked him to the door and waved to him as he drove away. 

When I returned to my seat at the table, my mum's friend gave me a look. "Is that your boyfriend, Phillip? If so, you did well." I shook my head. "Unfortunately, he's not."

"Yet." My mum said.

"Yet." I repeated.


	13. Dan's POV

I drove home from Phil's, feeling slightly upset. I was sure that Phil was going to tell me "I love you" when that girl ran in. But he didn't. I explored every reason why he wouldn't have. Maybe he lost his courage? Maybe he decided it wasn't the right moment? Or, the one I tried to push out of my head, maybe he wasn't in love with me like I was with him?

I got home and my mum was out with some friends, and I laid on my bed, trying to sort it all out. I couldn't exactly control what was going on in Phil's head, so I just let it go, allowing myself to drift into sleep. My dreams were filled with Phil and his spectacularly blue eyes, and in my dreams, he told me that he loved me.

I woke up the next morning angry because my dream ended. It was seriously the best dream I had ever had. I walked into the kitchen to see my mum making breakfast, which was weird, because my mum hadn't made breakfast in years.

"Good morning, Dan!" She said cheerily, giving me a hug. "Um, good morning?" I said. "I assume you had a good time yesterday?"

My mum flipped a pancake. "Oh, Dan! I had a wonderful time! I met a great guy! He asked me out on a date this weekend." She must have seen me tense up. "Don't worry. It's just one date, it doesn't mean anything."

I nodded. I had always been scared about letting in another father-figure. I was scared that he would hurt me and leave me like my real dad did. "If it makes you happy, Mum, then I'm okay with it. You should get out and date and stop staying home."

I think I saw tears in my mum's eyes. She had been wanting me to be able to get to this point for a long time. She put down the spatula she was holding and pulled me into a long hug. "I am so proud of you, Daniel. You have changed so much- for the better- in the last few months. I love you. What your dad did was not your fault. People just do bad things, sometimes." I was full out sobbing in my mum's arms. She had told me that it wasn't my fault almost weekly since my dad left, but for whatever reason, it didn't sink in until Phil told me after that party. But now I fully understand. It was never my fault, and I couldn't control it.

My mum and I cried together for a bit until we heard the fire alarm go off. "Oh, no!" my mum yelled, running over to the pan where the pancakes were hopelessly burned and smoking. "Oh, well. I already made enough for breakfast." I looked at my mum, and we laughed like we haven't laughed in years.

While we ate breakfast, my mum had an idea. "How about after school on Friday we go out to that little village we used to always visit when you were little! It's only a half hour away and we could go for a couple hours!"

I nodded in agreement. "That sounds like a good idea! I'll just tell Phil and we'll just reschedule our tutoring."


	14. Phil's POV

I was standing at my locker, getting out a book for my next class when Dan came up to me. He leaned against my locker. "Hey, Phil."

"Hey, Dan!" Dan had been more open with us being friends recently. I could see that he was getting over his fear of social rejection; sometimes he would come sit with me during lunch. PJ and Chris had different lunches, so we couldn't sit together although the four of us had become friends. I was closest with Dan, though.

"So, can we reschedule today's tutoring session for tomorrow? My mum and I are going to do something together after school."

I smiled. "Yes! Of course!" I was so happy that Dan and his mum were getting close again; I would put nothing in the way of that. "What are you guys doing?"

Dan grinned. "We're going to this little village we used to go to when I was little. We haven't been since I was in middle school and-" 

"Howell! What are you doing talking to gaylester?" Kai came behind Dan, demanding an answer. 

"Well, he is my tutor, Kai. I needed to reschedule a tutoring day."

"Yeah, I doubt that. You two have spent so much time together. Are you guys together? Is it GayHowlter now?"

Dan turned around to face Kai. "No! We're not together! We're not even friends! I was just reminding him of that!" Dan then marched off, and I watched his back as he disappeared. Kai gave me a smirk before walking off himself.

I heard the bell for our next class ring, but I couldn't move. I just stood in the empty hallway for about five minutes before I started breaking down. I slid down the side of the lockers, sobbing and wailing. Eventually one of the teachers found me and told me that I should go home. My dad was out of town on business, so I was allowed to drive his car for the week, so I got in his car and drove home. 

So many thoughts were going through my head. Why would Dan say that? Is it true? Has he been lying to me? Maybe he was just scared. Kai is scary- he could easily beat the shit of me and Dan. But still. He introduced me as "My friend, Phil" to his family. Why? Why? Why?

I arrived home to empty house, due to the fact that my mum was still at work. I walked inside and headed straight to my mum's bathroom where she kept her disposable razors. I grabbed one and headed to my bathroom where I ripped the razor apart. I hadn't cut myself in the moths since Dan arrested and he saw. But I didn't know how else to deal with this. 

I brought the blades over my arms, feeling the familiar feeling of relief. But when I went to rinse off my arms, the blood kept coming. And coming. No matter how much pressure I put, it wouldn't stop bleeding. 

I sat on the bathroom floor, my head in my hands. Why did I do this? I went into full-on panic mode, rocking back and forth and sobbing. I could barely breath, I was hyperventilating so bad. I could feel my strength ebbing away, my life seeming to fade. NO! My mind screamed. I don't want to die! Please, no!

It seemed like all hope was lost; there was no chance of salvation. I had told myself this was it. 

But then I heard a knock on the front door.

Then another. 

And I heard a familiar voice yelling. 

"PHIL! Phil! Please, let me in! I know you hate me, but please!"

I wanted to go and let him in, but I couldn't- I physically couldn't stand and walk to the door. 

But then I remembered. 

The door. 

It was unlocked, I had forgotten to lock it. 

Please try the door, please try the door, I silently prayed. 

I heard the door open, and I heard footsteps running through the house. "Phil?! Phil, where are you?!"

I was laying on the bathroom floor, and I called out weakly, "Dan..."


	15. Dan's POV

"Mum, I feel like the worst person in the world. Why was I such an ass? I was just scared, but still." 

I was sitting with my mum in her car, explaining what had happened earlier. My mum nodded. "I hate to say this, but you're right, Dan. You are seriously in the wrong, so what are you going to do about it?"

I sighed. "I tried to find Phil after school so I could apologize, but I couldn't fine him. I think I need to go to his house or something. Mum, I was really looking forward to hanging out today, but I can't just leave Phil like that. Could we go tomorrow, maybe?"

My mum nodded. "Of course! I am so proud of you for making that decision, Dan. We'll go by home and you can take the car over."

We drove home, Mum got out, and I got in the driver's seat. I waved as I pulled out of the driveway, and I drove much more quickly than normal. I had a bad feeling; a really bad feeling.

When I arrived at Phil's house, I saw his dad's car that Phil was using in the driveway. At least he was home. I got out and knocked on the door. "Phil?" No answer. "Phil?! Phil, it's Dan! Please answer! I know you probably hate me, I know I was wrong. Just please let me in!"

I started crying- why wasn't answering? I tried to calm myself down. Maybe he's just in the shower. Maybe he has Buffy on really loud and he couldn't hear the knock. But I knew that something was wrong.

"Phil! Please!" I was yelling at this point. I put my forehead against the door, crying harder. "Please," I whispered. "Phil. I'm sorry. I-I love you, Phil. Just let me in. I can't live without you, I've realized that." I then decided to try to just open the door; Phil was one of those paranoid people who never kept the door unlocked in case of burglars, but just maybe. Maybe this once.

To my surprise, the door opened. "Phil!" I yelled. "Phil, where are you?!" I ran around his house, when I heard it. I heard a weak call, "Dan..." I ran to where the sound was coming from, and found Phil on the floor of his bathroom.

"Oh my God, Phil!" I ran to him. "W-what happened?" I already knew, and Phil knew that. He looked at me. "It won't stop bleeding. Please, help me." 

"I'm going to call your mum, then an ambulance." I had Phil's mum's number in my phone so I got on the phone with her. I tried to explain what was happening as calmly as I could. It was hard, because I was a mess. Phil's mum said she was leaving work, and she told me which hospital to call. She was being calm, but I could tell that she was panicking.

I called the hospital, allowing myself to panic- they were used to this, I'm sure. I rattled off Phil's address when they asked for it, then I went over to Phil. I had gotten a couple wet wash cloths to press on his arms, like the lady on the phone had told me. I lifted Phil's head into my lap, I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, the light in them fading. "It's going to be okay, Phil. An ambulance is coming. You'll be okay."

Phil smiled weakly, closing his eyes. "No! Phil! Please, don't go to sleep, stay with me! Talk to me, tell me anything! I can't lose you!" 

Phil's eyes settled on my own. "It all started in freshman year. The year after I came out as gay. The bullying got so bad, I didn't know what else to do. I found one of my mum's spare razors, and, well, you know the rest. I didn't mean for this to happen."

I put one of Phil's hands in my own. "I'm so sorry Phil. I'm so sorry. I was scared of what Kai would do. I know it's no excuse. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please forgive me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I heard the ambulance sirens outside, and the next thing I knew, the EMT's were putting Phil on a stretcher. He looked at me just before they carried him away, and the last thing he said before he went to the hospital was, "I forgive you, Dan. I love you."


	16. Phil's POV

I woke up in a hospital room, with my mum sitting next to my bed. I turned my head. "Mum?"

She looked up and tears came to her eyes. "Philly!" She came over and gave me a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Kind of tired. And my arms hurt." My mum sat on the edge of my bed. "Yes, well they had to put in stitches. Dad is getting on a flight home this afternoon; it's the soonest flight he could get."

"This afternoon?" I asked, confused. My mum nodded. "Yes, It's Saturday morning, Phil. You slept through the rest of yesterday." I could tell that my mum was exhausted. "Mum, have you slept at all?"

My mum sighed. "No. Is it that noticeable? Do I look a mess?" 

I smiled. "No offense, mum, but you kind of do. Um, i-is Dan here?"

"I knew you would ask. He's been waiting in the lobby. He hasn't left since last night. Do you want to see him?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Mum, you should go home and rest for a few hours. I'll be okay with Dan." 

Mum looked hesitant. "I don't know..."

"Mum," I said. "Don't be mad at Dan. It's not his fault. I made the decision I did, he just made a mistake. That's all." My mum smiled weakly at me. "I know, Phil. I'm trying not to be mad. I'll go get him. I'll be back in a few hours."

A couple minutes later, Dan walked in. He was wearing sweat pants and the shirt I had given him. His eyes were red, from what I assumed was a mix of crying and lack of sleep. "Phil?" He started crying. "Are you okay?"

I smiled at him, and patted the edge of my bed, telling him to come over. He came and sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. "I'm good, Dan. How are you doing?" 

Dan just looked at me. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

I scooted over on the bed and Dan laid down next to me. I wrapped my arms around him as he cried into my chest. I played with his hair. "Dan, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. I made the decision I did. I forgive you." I kissed the top of his head as he cried. After a couple minutes I heard his steady breathing, and I knew that he was asleep. I took a moment and looked at how beautiful he was. He seemed so peaceful when he was asleep, and I smiled when he cuddled closer to me. I put my head on top of his and fell asleep.

When I woke up Dan was still asleep. I guess my stirring woke him up, because I saw his eyes flutter open, him slightly moaning after been woken up. He smiled up at me and brushed my hand across his cheek. "Good morning- or should I say afternoon." 

Dan smiled. "Mmhhmmm." When the door opened both of looked up to see my mum coming in. "Phil, Dad's going to be here in an hour then you're going home and- oh!" she saw the two of us and smiled. "Well, I'm going to go get something from the cafeteria, I'll be right back." 

We stayed together until it was time for me to go home. We didn't say much, but there was nothing to say. We knew what each other was feeling. No words were necessary.

I went back to school Monday, and word had gotten around about what had happened. 

Dan stood up to Kai and all of his old friends, and left their group forever. 

He ate lunch with me everyday. 

We continued our tutoring sessions. 

Dan always checked up on me, making sure that I wasn't hurting myself. 

Every day when we would sit down for our tutoring session, he would tell me, "Sleeve check!" And I would roll up my sleeves and he would inspect me.

"Yes, yes. That's healing very good." I always laughed. "What are you, a doctor?"

"Yes, Phil, I am Dr. Daniel James Howell. I am merely disguised as a high school student, didn't you know?"

We hung out every weekend. We watched Buffy and all sorts of anime, but most of all we were spending time together. Out tutoring time was coming to an end, and I was so sad. I mean, we were still friends, but I felt like we wouldn't have an excuse to hang out as much as we do.

I never thought that I would be upset that my time tutoring Dan Howell was ended. If you had told me that back in December, I would have told you that you were insane.


	17. Dan's POV

I sat in my mum's car, holding balloons, a large Pikachu stuffed animal, and some candy. "I'm scared, Mum. What if I'm rejected?"

"You won't be rejected, Dan."

"But maybe today's not the right day?"

"It's the right day."

"But, Mum, what if-"

"Oh my God, Dan. Get out of the car before I come and get you out."

"Love you, too, Mum." I got out nervously, and made my way inside the school. Everyone gave me weird looks, which was understandable because you don't regularly see people walking around with a large stuffed Pikachu.

I reached the are where Phil's locker was and smiled to see that he was already there. And we had ten minutes before class started. Perfect. 

Phil turned to look at me. "Hey, Dan! Woah, what's with the balloons and stuffed animal?"

I swallowed nervously, set the stuff down, and took Phil's hands in my own. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked. Oh God.

"Philip Michael Lester," I began. "You have changed my life in every way possible. Because of you I am now graduating high school. Because of you, my family has come back together. Because of you, I am no longer afraid. Because of everything that has happened, I have realized something. I cannot live without you. I love you, Phil. My question for you is do you love me back? Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?"

I saw tears in Phil's eyes, and I felt the anticipation in the room. Phil nodded, crying tears of joy, and was able to choke out one word: "Yes." To my surprise, everyone in the hallway started clapping. Then they started chanting. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" 

I smiled at Phil. "Should we oblige the masses?"

Phil gave me a cheeky wink. "I think we should."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, and Phil put his hands around my back. Our lips met, and we shared a long, passionate kiss. I heard more cheering around us. The headmaster complained about a lot of things I did, and I've changed most of it, but I'm sure as hell not stopping the PDA anytime soon. 

At first, the bullying was kind of bad. Phil and I had each other, though. When people would make rude comments, I would proudly hold Phil's hand (if I wasn't already) and march off. However, our proclamation of love began a surge of people coming out. I never knew how many queer people there were at our school. By the end of senior year, our school had become the most LGBT+ friendly school in the area. 

Graduation finally came around, and I remember walking up on stage and seeing Phil's eyes filled with tears. He was just as proud as my mum was. When my headmaster handed me my diploma, he smiled at me and gave me a personal congratulations for actually graduating. 

We headed back to Phil's house for a graduation party, and after our required socialization, Phil and I slipped outside. Phil's house had a beautiful backyard, which had been decorated in fairy lights. We laid on the hammock and watched the sunset.

Phil looked over at me. "I'm so proud of you, Dan. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Phil." I closed the distance between us and kissed him. We stayed outside for a long time, and we only came back in when my mum informed me that it was time to go. I stood up after giving Phil a goodbye kiss, then we left. 

Phil and I ended up going to the same university. I took my talent in science and studied medicine. Phil studied video post-production. Our life together was perfect. Every time I looked into Phil's eyes and watched him laugh, I knew that he everything. My one love. And I was sure to tell him everyday.


	18. Dan and Phil's POV

~Seven years later~

We were 23 years old, just out of college. We shared an apartment in London, and our lives were perfect- well, almost perfect. But tonight I was going to change that.

I had surprised Dan with a date to a nice restaurant in London, and we took a walk in our favorite park. We were admiring the stars and sights together, like we always did. Dan and turned away from me to point something out to me, and I took the moment. I got down on one knee, and loved the look of surprise and joy on Dan's face when he turned around. 

"Daniel James Howell. I am in love with you, and you are the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Dan yelled and kissed me. We were both crying, and when both had calmed ourselves, I took his hand and we continued our walk. Dan and I kept looking at each other, smiling like fools. 

The next months were filled with wedding preparations. He found the perfect venue, our favorite restaurant was catering, all of our family and friends were coming, everything was perfect. Except for one thing.

We decided that we would each get to walk down the aisle, because, why the hell not? This upset Dan, though, when I first brought it up. "I don't have a dad to walk me down." he said sadly.

"What about your mum?"

"Well, yeah. But I always thought my dad would be at my own wedding."

Finally the night of the rehearsal dinner came, which went wonderfully. I was so filled with excitement, knowing that tomorrow Dan and I would be married. I could barely sleep I was so excited.

~Dan's POV~

I was looking at myself in the mirror one last time, fixing my fringe and adjusting my bow tie. In less than five minutes, I would be walking down the aisle to say my vows. I was so nervous I would trip or make a fool of myself. 

Just as I was about to leave the private room I was in, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, scared, but I was in complete and utter shock.

Standing before me was my dad. He had aged since I last saw him almost eleven years ago, but I still recognized him. "Dad?" He smiled and pulled me into a hug. "I have missed you so much, Dan. And I am so proud of you. I know we have so much to talk about, but I hear you need a father to walk you down the aisle."

I choked back the tears and nodded. He walked me down the aisle, and I saw Phil looking incredible in his suit, smiling at me. He must have known. 

Phil and I looked at each other the entire time the vows were being said.

"Daniel Howell, do you take Philip Lester to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I saw Phil's eyes sparkling and his smile. "I do."

~Phil's POV~

I saw the joy on Dan's face as his dad was walking him down the aisle. I don't think I've ever seen him happier in his entire life. Not only is today our wedding day, but it is the first time he's seen his dad in eleven years.

I looked at Dan's huge smile, the dimples that always got me.

"Philip Lester, do you take Daniel Howell to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"You may now kiss the groom."

We shared the sweetest kiss of our entire lives. 

Our honeymoon was perfect- we went to Japan, and allowed our inner fanboys to come out. The cherry blossoms were blooming, the weather was beautiful, and it was everything we could ever ask for. We stayed for a week and didn't want to return to London, but we did, of course.


	19. Epilogue

~Dan's POV~

"Every time when I look into my husband's eyes, I realize how lucky I am."

~Phil's POV~

"Every time I hug our adopted daughter, I realize how lucky I am."

~Dan's POV~

"Every day I realize that it was just by a chance that Phil became my tutor and this all happened. As bad as it sounds, I'm almost thankful that I did so bad in school."

~Phil's POV~

"Every day I realize that is was just by chance that I was assigned to Dan as a tutor and everything happened. As bad as it sounds, I'm almost thankful that Dan bullied me in the way he did."

~Dan's POV~

"In retrospect, I realize that I could have done better in school. I could have lived my life, and never had gotten to know my perfect husband."

~Phil's POV~ 

"In retrospect, I realize that I could have refused to tutor Dan, claiming that he was too much of a jerk. But if I had, I may have died that day, there may not have been a Dan to save me."

~Dan and Phil's POV~

"We realize now, that everything that happened, it was all just by chance. So we cherish everyday we have together. Our hope for you, Sarah, is that you learn from us. Live your life to the fullest, be kind to other people, take opportunities as they come. And most of all, realize that things happen for a reason. No matter how terrible it may seem, there will be a bright side to it."

Dan looked at his husband, and gave him a kiss on the lips. Their 13 year old daughter, Sarah, sat on their couch, taking it all in. She had simply asked how they had met, and she was given a long tale about her fathers' senior year. 

Phil smiled at her. "How did you like the story?"

Sarah smiled and closed her eyes. "It was the most beautiful love story I've ever heard."

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Ze end. I hope ya'll liked it ^^


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